There's this strange sense of total loss of any grip i had on myself. I look around during the day and feel like i'm missing something, completely slipping past moments and objects and getting crosseyed in the process. Like the things I used to comprehend are stealing their meaning from me, and I'm letting it happen. It's hard to describe, but all I feel is lost and angry so i swear more. and i smoke more. and I just ate a bunch of pizza about it. and now I'm going to drive to normal, il to sing about it.