Friday, May 29, 2009

tired, old and bitter and really fucked up

I'm going to get too drunk tonight. then i'm going to go swimming. then i'm going to kiss kyle holmer on the lips. maybe tongue. i'm going to hang out with my sister's friends, and we'll talk about the few things we have in common, like knowing my mom is totally sweet. then i'm going to go swimming again. maybe naked. then i'm going to make a fool of myself and wake up embarrassed. my life is predictable in this town, but i am still excited about it.

Monday, May 25, 2009


what a weekend.

vacation time to the max. Lakehouse+too many beers+inappropriate adults+bacon for breakfast+more beers and a boat+diapers. That made for a good friday and a little bit of saturday.

excited to hang out all night at the kitchen on saturday. smoked hash. watched mikey puke. passed out before midnight. felt lame when i woke up in the morning.

drive with muffler dragging. drive while treads rip off of tire. drive 80 mph swerving from shoulder to shoulder of a highway and spill mountain dew and freak out the cars behind and think death is imminent. manage to gain control of car and successfully change a tire.

different lakehouse+too many beers+inappropriate adults+bar+mischief+endless requests for tracks off of Thriller+sick dance moves+cigarettes with adult women+cigarettes with creepy men who want nick's balls+100 stolen beers+a wig+adult women spilling long islands and apologizing profusely+latelatelate night golf carts to meet up with all of the people we just met+dankweeds+converge. now what the fuck are we supposed to do with a trunk full of stolen beer?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Weezy reminds me, "Money Over Bitches" while I work.

It keeps my mind occupied.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Yesterday Kyle gave me a bouquet of flowers. I took it with me to the city. Rohan gave his to the liquor store owner. I carried mine everywhere we went with the intentions of brightening a lonely person's day. After a long night and a lack of stereotypically depressed girls at the bar, we left, standing outside, making plans. A girl came up and asked for a cigarette, and I must have done something rude or standoffish as I handed her one, because she said, "seems like you are sad about a girl." She became my late night, drunken psychologist and I let it all out on this stranger. She demanded details and more details and gave stern advice like an angry talk show host. We talked for about fifteen minutes, and then Ross called her a bitch. I got sort of upset with him, but then I gave the girl those flowers and said goodbye. I hope it made her happy.

Friday, May 15, 2009

I don't believe in the sun

Yesterday and the previous night were the strangest combination of manic emotion I've had in a while. extremities of highs and lows.

And I still can't sleep and I don't know why. Horrible fucking dreams. I threw a dude down a staircase though. that felt good. AWERITHOIAFFUUUUUUUUUUUCK FUCK

But I have these wonderful friends and I'll try my best not to take things for granted.


Monday, May 11, 2009

let's pretend

Yesterday was hellish besides sweet friends. Today will be just as bad if I can't find sympathy and get out of working. I got no sleep and a throat full of dust and I'm just about ready to strangle anyone who gets in the way of me reading Ernest Hemingway for fun today after a brutal nap.

also, cancel bills, find out how much we owe utility companies, find out how much we owe the landlord, and try my best to get the money to pay them without blowing out nine thousand brains.

Gonna drive to wheaton now. it is 8 am. fml.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

I don't know how to do things anymore.

Roamed around a bar last night, drinking high life and free drinks from the bartender.  Hung out with astronaut girl that I vaguely remembered.  Talked about NASA.  Got myself in trouble from breaking and entering a few times to find beers after the liquor stores were closed.  A boy walked into his apartment while I was standing, giggling like a maniac with a three foot bong in my hand.  Maybe we're friends now.  

I don't really know what else to say.

Friday, May 8, 2009

The most awkward strange colors

Got gay and sexy tonight.

Got naked and started a naked party with all the naked kids in town.  My naked face was in the face of all the other naked faces.  Fucking hell.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Monday, May 4, 2009

Ernest, you fuck.

never thought thoroughly discussing vaginas would be either unfunny or unsexy until today.  I feel like a gynecologist or sigmund freud or an awkward sex ed teacher.  I just want to go listen to the cubs and lay down and let v-holes be what they used to be.  

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I'm sick and was planning on staying cigarette free today.

Cracked at 2:45.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

productivity out the window.

My left eye has acquired an obnoxious twitch and I can't stop it.